This is Chris Voss.
He is the greatest negotiator in FBI history.
He’s dealt with 150+ kidnappers, hostage-takers, and international terrorists.
His 9 powerful rules to negotiate as if your life depended on it:
These rules are chapters from @fbinegotiator's book "Never Split the Difference":
• Sold 3M+ copies worldwide
• New York Times bestseller for 60 weeks
• Praised by Forbes, Daily Mail & Business Insider
9 timeless lessons that will change your life and business forever:
[1/9] BE A MIRROR
People want to feel heard.
Repeating the last 1-3 words someone says shows listening, interest, and understanding.
This EXTREMELY simple tactic builds trust and gets people talking.
Here's how to use their own words to your advantage:
[2/9] LABEL THEIR PAIN
Naming emotions calms the tension.
Use phrases like "It [seems/sounds/looks] like you ..."
For example: "It sounds like you're afraid this won't work"
Here's why labeling is so powerful:
[3/9] AIM FOR "NO"
A clear “No” is better than a fake “Yes.”
Letting someone decline makes them feel safe, secure, and in control.
In fact, the first "No" is often when the REAL negotiation begins.
After "No", you want to aim for the two 'Trigger Words' ...
[4/9] USE ‘TRIGGER WORDS’
"That's right" is better than "Yes".
If you hear those two words, you know you've won.
When someone says "That's right" their brain essentially forces them to tell the truth.
Here's how it works:
[5/9] BEND THEIR REALITY
Reality is subjective.
Pain from losing 00 is much greater than pleasure from gaining 00.
Abuse this by letting the other side know they have something to lose.
In the words of Nobel Price psychologist and economist Daniel Kahneman:
[6/9] CREATE THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL
Nobody likes being controlled.
On the other hand, giving up control makes your counterpart feel secure and lowers their guard.
Here's the secret to gaining the upper hand in any negotiation:
[7/9] GUARANTEE EXECUTION
Make sure the deal goes through.
• Watch out for fake "Yes"
• Consider "behind-the-scene" players
• Pay close attention to voice and body language
And if you need to ...
[8/9] BARGAIN HARD
Voss recommends using the Ackerman Bargaining Technique.
Ex-CIA agent Mike Ackerman developed it and was later endorsed by Harvard negotiation specialist Howard Raiffa.
Here's what it looks like:
[9/9] FIND THE ‘BLACK SWAN’
Finally, every deal has unspoken fears, desires, or motivations.
These are the “Black Swans” you need to uncover.
Listen actively, ask questions, and dig deeper.
These are the "unknown unknowns" you'll only recognize once you see them.
To get the upper hand in any negotiation:
1) Be a Mirror
2) Label Their Pain
3) Aim For 'No'
4) Use 'Trigger Words'
5) Bend Their Reality
6) Create the Illusion of Control
7) Guarantee Execution
8) Bargain Hard
9) Find the 'Black Swan'
I'm curious - what has your experience with negotiation been like?
Have you used any of these methods?
Let us know below.
Thank you for reading.
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